Grab your fave afternoon snack, indulge in our new fave tweeter @LAFEMLADOSHA, learn about @Cher’s new album, and gag over great Olympic snark — all from this week on Twitter.
Finished Song!I LOVE IT! Cant tell names of songs cause Record CO. gave Strict ORDERS ! THINK 1st Single drops Oct. then cd near Xmas— Cher (@cher) July 30, 2012
The Grand Dame of Gay will be working with Timbaland, P!nk, and Lady Gaga for this new release; Chad Michaels will have work for weeks.
Dear Shades of Grey fans, Take your new fansination with bondage and gag yourselves to spare the rest of us having to hear you speak.— The Dark Lord (@Lord_Voldemort7) August 2, 2012
These hoes sucking dick for weave glue— ANTONIO BLAIR (@LAFEMLADOSHA) August 1, 2012
B!tch, who you talkin’ about?
MEET PAULA DEEN FRANK’N’FURTER! twitter.com/LADYBUNNY77/st…— LADY BUNNY (@LADYBUNNY77) July 31, 2012
Oh… we see…
These XXX Olympics are not at all what I was expecting.— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) July 30, 2012
If black dudes knew how to swim, no one would’ve ever heard of Michael Phelps.— Bill Clinton (@PimpBillClinton) August 1, 2012
It seemed like he was the HBIC going into this week, right?
And that damn Subway he’s eating is weighing Phelps down this year.— Urbando Calrissian (@heyitsurban) July 30, 2012
NBC poolside interviewer: Boy, that wasn’t fast. I guess your whole family will be hitting the bong after this.— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) July 31, 2012
A lot of the spotlight was taken from Mr. Phelps after his performance this week, but luckily we had a media savvy American swimmer waiting in the wings.
Hopefully Mr. Lochte, who wears rubber cap while swimming, wears a rubber somewhere else during all these 1 nite stands.— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) August 2, 2012
I could have been an Olympic swimmer but the doctors told my parents I would need to swim in a helmet. Probably because I was really fast.— Sarah PaIin (@SarahPaIinUSA) July 31, 2012
You may have missed it, but the real Sarah Palin proved she was really fast in other ways this week:
To prove they relate to the common man, the Romney’s next dancing horse will specialize in crunking.— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) August 2, 2012
Facebook’s “People You May Know” should be renamed “People Whose Attractiveness Will Ruin Your Self Esteem.”— Chris Stout-Hazard (@designhazards) July 30, 2012
Speaking of bodies, big-girl ballroom body shade was being thrown around on YouTube:
F*ck Diamonds… A gay is a girl’s best friend 😉— Teodoro De sio (@TheRealTheoD) July 30, 2012
Look forward to Chick-fil-A introducing their Only Some People Are Allowed to Be Happy Meal.— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) August 1, 2012
We gonna make this bitch light up even If the sun goes down.— BearBuds™ (@BearBuds) August 3, 2012
Have a killer weekend, y’all, and away from the Chick-fil-A!