What's the Tee, Butch Queens?

Living and dying for the new T-shirts by Trophy Pony, the new off-shoot of spandex and fetish gear shop Slick It Up. Obvsies, you’ll want to get the Paris Is Burning-quoting “Butch Queen First Time in Drags at a Ball,” but don’t overlook the edgy simplicity of “I F*cked Grace Jones” in yellow.

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It's Downton Abbey Tee Time

If you must rock T-shirts with slogans like it’s the early aughts, at least show good taste in TV with the new line of PBS Downton Abbey swag. Unfortunately, there’s only one Dowager Countess quote — “What is a weekend?” — but the villain-celebrating “Haters Gonna Hate” tee will do in a pinch.

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Shh... It's an It's a Wig T-Shirt

Holiday gift alert! The Georgia wig shop Shh… It’s a Wig first got national attention on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Now the shop’s cashing in on their fame with a cute T-shirt that can easily be sliced and sassed up for an ironic evening look at the clubs. Act fast and order now — supplies are limited!

Dress Like a Maxim-Reading D-Bag

Men’s magazine Maxim now has an online store that literally sells three shirts — perfect for people who can’t make decisions and who want everyone to know they’re down with objectifying chicks. Buy two of each and wear ‘em to da club!

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How to Be a Cockmonster for Halloween

Remember when Minnesota Vikings punter and hilariously outspoken LGBT ally Chris Kluwe wrote an open letter criticizing antigay politician Emmett C. Burns Jr.? Taken from his original letter and its PG-rated version, two of the letter’s catchiest catch phrases, “lustful cockmonster” and “beautifully unique sparklepony,” are now on official T-shirts available at chriskluwetshirt.com.

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