Sherry Vine Makes Tony Danza Relevant Again

Sherry Vine’s latest video — described on Facebook as “thrown together as a giggle” and “a $1 quickie as we prepare for our next biggie!!” — reminds everyone how hot Tony Danza and all those masculine late ’70s and early ’80s TV stars were. No doubt Tina Turner will be thrilled with the use of her song, “Private Dancer.” Anyone got her number in Switzerland?

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Happy Presidents' Day from DLNQNT

Enjoy your day off if you’ve got one, DLNQNTs. First, revisit the 2011 NY Times piece about the correct spelling of the apostrophed holiday. Second, cool down from Obama fever with the 21 most bangable fictional presidents from TV and film. Hiya, Dave!

We Would Molest His Gay Cookies

Scenery-chewing YouTube starlet Randy Rainbow hops on the antigay Boy Scouts of America bandwagon with his latest video, in which he goes door to door selling cookies and raising awareness for gay scouts. But oh, those delicious gay cookies — Bossy Bottoms, Beyoncé Brownies, and Peanut Butter Poppers with real poppers. Of course, if this were like a Lay’s potato chip popularity contest, we’d probably vote for the Zac Efron Sugar Balls.

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How to Clean Your Peen

Are you a dirty, dirty whore? Do you think twice about your cookie’s freshness post-twerk, pre-trick? Playtex wants to save gals and guys the trouble of a shower with their new Fresh + Sexy wipes. Clearly we wouldn’t mention it if it weren’t for their funny ad campaign featuring polished knobs and clean peckers. See more below.

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Happy Nemo!

Speaking of Sweet Brown…

Wish us luck in our NYC DLNQNT offices!