Mariah Who? Britney Is So Elvis, Y'all

Now that it’s official that Mariah Carey will earn $18 million for her judging gig on next season’s American Idol, you’ve got outlets like Washington Post making snarky numerical predictions about her behavior, MTV questioning her ratings power, Los Angeles Times creaming over her epic relevance, and E! Online digging up her most embarassing Mimi moments… but we’re still a slave for seemingly coherent new judge Britney Spears on X-Factor.

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Why is Andy Cohen on EW's Coming Out Cover?

Kudos to Entertainment Weekly for their new cover story, which celebrates the trend of graceful coming-outs by today’s gay stars. But is it just us, or is one of these things not like the other? Listen, we love Andy Cohen as much as one can love somebody like Andy Cohen, but everyone else pictured here made some sort of statement, casual or otherwise, as their star continued to rise. Did the gay Bravo exec actually “come out” in recent years — or even recent decades?

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Choose to Change the Channel

EW's Annie Barrett has a hilariously spot-on review of last night's hot-messy premiere of Fox's The Choice, a "celebrity" dating game show — think Singled Out meets The Voice — that might literally be the worst thing we've ever seen on TV, despite charming host Cat Deeley of SYTYCD fame. We'll still tune in for the Joe Jonas episode, but we won't like ourselves in the morning.

Covering and Coveting Joan's Curves

Did you miss Christina Hendricks's Joan on Sunday's episode of Mad Men? Anticipating your withdrawal, EW's Darren Franich has assembled a colorful slide show of Joan's most memorable looks, complete with somewhat cheeky commentary like, "Some women carry a purse. But serious women carry an accordion. This is called 'accessorizing.'"

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Nice Finger on the Pulse, EW

Two long and eventful months after Adele won a boatload of Grammys and announced that she might take some time off, Entertainment Weekly has put the Brit on the cover of their "special music issue," a move that feels about as fresh as New York magazine's recent Xanax cover story.

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