Get to know adult film impresario, safe-sex advocate, and political pundit Michael Lucas, who’s a lot smarter — and a lot filthier — than you might have guessed.
1. What turns you on, creatively or otherwise? Michael Lucas: Mexicans. Everything about them and their culture totally gets me going. Their food, music, clothing styles, accents… In fact, it is not an alarm that rises me up but instead it is piñatas placed all over my room that erupt with candy when it’s time for me to wake up.
2. What’s a good tip for someone who wants to be you for Halloween? ML: Die. Then have a mortician make you up. That’s what I do every morning.
3. Which celebrity’s hair do you covet most? ML: My own chest hair — which is, by little known fact, a collection of hair plugs from east Asian ferrets that I have implanted in my bosom every four months.
4. What would your death-row last meal be? ML: Anus. A heaping pile of ripe anus.
5. What’s your juiciest vice or guiltiest pleasure? ML: Babies. My brother recently had a child and I am madly in love with her. I think babies are absolutely delicious… if you season them right.
6. What extravagant purchase should probably make you feel guiltier? ML: I always feel guilty when I buy lube. Spit does the job just fine…as does ketchup.
7. When’s the last time you wanted to slap someone? ML: My nighttime nurse who puts me to sleep every night, recently told me that she would have to stop fingering me to sleep due to her arthritis. I did not take it well.
8. What most likely made that stain on your outfit? ML: That would never happen. If in fact a stain did dare touch the cloth of my ensemble, I would have my assistant change me immediately and then I’d fire him for seeing me at my worst.
9. Describe your favorite undergarment. ML: A condom. I never leave home with out a jimmy strapped to my loin. You never know who you’ll meet during the course of a day. Plus I love the snug feeling of latex on my penis — it’s like a tiny hug to my foreskin.
10. What’s a lie you’ve told more than once? ML: That I’m not into bestiality.
BONUS: Where do you see yourself in five minutes? ML: On the toilet eating a delicious can of pudding while reading the latest issue of Home & Garden magazine. It’s raspberry planting season.
For more info on Michael Lucas, visit his website.
Photo: Christopher Logan