DLNQNT Vapid Fire: Mark Sam Rosenthal

Get to know hilarious writer-performer Mark Sam Rosenthal, who follows up Blanche Survives Katrina in a FEMA Trailer Named Desire with his latest NYC solo show, I Light Up My Life: The Mark Sam Celebrity Autobiography.

1. What turns you on, creatively or otherwise? Mark Sam Rosenthal: Speedos, bareback gangbang porn, Kiki & Herb.

2. What’s a good tip for someone who wants to be you for Halloween? MSR: You’ll have to beat some of my past Halloween triumphs, such as Peter Pan Porn Star and Completely Masked Man Sitting Alone at Bar.

3. Which celebrity’s hair do you covet most? MSR: Dolly Parton’s A wig.

4. What would your death-row last meal be? MSR: Well, it depends where I’m on death row! If I’m down home at Angola, I bet they could do a pretty good crawfish etouffee. I never order Louisiana food out of state, so if I were at Attica I guess I’d just ask for a hamburger steak and gravy fries. 

5. What’s your juiciest vice or guiltiest pleasure? MSR: Strippers. They’ve ruined more than one Christmas, believe me!

6. What extravagant purchase should probably make you feel guiltier? MSR: See #5.

7. When’s the last time you wanted to slap someone? MSR: Yesterday morning at the pool. Instead I just looked her dead in the eye and said, “You need to be in the medium lane.” I was pleased with my restraint.

8. What most likely made that stain on your outfit? MSR: Cherry.

9. Describe your favorite undergarment. MSR: Bittersweet blue camo briefs that belonged to my ex-boyfriend.

10. What’s a lie you’ve told more than once? MSR: No, I’m not crying — I just have allergies. To something.

BONUS: Where do you see yourself in five minutes? MSR: At the refrigerator.

Mark Sam Rosenthal's I Light Up My Life: The Mark Sam Celebrity Autobiography runs through June 16 at NYC's New Ohio Theatre as part of the soloNOVA Arts Festival. For more info, visit his website.

Photo: Evan Schwartz