DLNQNT Vapid Fire: Lea DeLaria

Get to know outrageous stand-up comic, Broadway diva, and jazz singer Lea DeLaria, who celebrates being butch with an edgy new show at NYC’s 54 Below.

1. What turns you on, creatively or otherwise? Lea DeLaria: Scallops, Swiss chocolate, Katy Perry, Sigourney Weaver, the Yankees, hard cheese, a well-played tenor sax, Gypsy, Spring Awakening, the movie Bitch Slap, soft cheese, sushi, Audra McDonald, Richard Rodgers, and the women’s ensemble dressing room.

2. What’s a good tip for someone who wants to be you for Halloween? LD: Strap on a big one and carry a flask of tequila.

3. Which celebrity’s hair do you covet most? LD: Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

4. What would your death-row last meal be? LD: Just a salad; I wouldn’t want the electric chair to make my ass look fat.

5. What’s your juiciest vice or guiltiest pleasure? LD: Jewish straight girls… I can’t put ’em down. That’s why you will usually find me at a Chinese restaurant.

6. What extravagant purchase should probably make you feel guiltier? LD: An 8-ball and a couple of hookers.

7. When’s the last time you wanted to slap someone? LD: Last night at The Eagle.

8. What most likely made that stain on your outfit? LD: Motor oil.

9. Describe your favorite undergarment. LD: Black satin thong with red lace trim… not on me.

10. What’s a lie you’ve told more than once? LD: Of course I’ll call.

BONUS: Where do you see yourself in five minutes? LD: Laying down track for a cartoon audition.

Lea DeLaria stars in Lea DeLaria is the Last Butch Standing: Chronicles of an Old School Butch in a Post-Ellen, Modern Society, July 30 and Aug. 6 at NYC’s 54 Below.