DLNQNT Vapid Fire: Ben Rimalower

Get to know celebrated director Ben Rimalower, who makes his debut as both playwright and performer in his Patti Lupone-centric solo show, Patti Issues.

1. What turns you on, creatively or otherwise? Ben Rimalower: I’m turned on by larger-than-live theatricality.

2. What’s a good tip for someone who wants to be you for Halloween? BR: Boot-cut pants.

3. Which celebrity’s hair do you covet most? BR: Patrick Dempsey, for like a dream ballet version of my hair. My ultimate hair fantasy would be some Asian with silky smoothness.

4. What would your death-row last meal be? BR: All dessert. Just dozens of homemade milk chocolate chip cookies covered in ice cream and caramel sauce.

5. What’s your juiciest vice or guiltiest pleasure? BR: See #4.

6. What extravagant purchase should probably make you feel guiltier? BR: I just spent $225 on my hair and I basically still look the same.

7. When’s the last time you wanted to slap someone? BR: A woman on the subway was proselytizing about the sanctity of marriage. I was trying to listen to Liza!

8. What most likely made that stain on your outfit? BR: Ha. Salad dressing!

9. Describe your favorite undergarment. BR: 2(x)ist briefs with the seam up the center — keeps everything in a good place and prevents male camel-toe.

10. What’s a lie you’ve told more than once? BR: That I saw Tyne Daly in Gypsy.

BONUS: Where do you see yourself in five minutes? BR: Still at my desk.

Ben Rimalower appears in Patti Issues, Thursdays Aug. 30 - Oct. 4 at NYC’s The Duplex.